I need reading glasses. Uhhg. Seriously, I think I’m more traumatized by the idea of reading glasses than the weird snapping noises that your joints make in the morning when you're over the age of 35. I wasn’t phased by the idea that my hair (should I ever stop “enhancing” it) is more grey now in the front than my original color. I’m not even that irritated by the crinkly little lines that I’m getting around my eyes, I kinda like them, I tell myself that they add character. No, I’m cranky that I have to carry around 2 pairs of glasses now–which I never remember to do. Which brings me to…TRYING TO STITCH WHILE I WATCH TV. I’m glad that the majority of people I know cant see what I look like when I sit down to my favorite pastime. They would hurt themselves laughing, I think. Generally I’m on my nice, new, recliner sofa with my feet up, TV on a favorite movie or show (right now Its True Blood–Love the books!) mismatched shorts (plaid), t-shirt (baggy and most decidedly NOT any color that matches said oversized plaid shorts), and 2 pairs of glasses. Not one pair of glasses on and another within easy reaching distance, 2 pairs-same time. I have the reading glasses balanced on my nose to make it easy to read those flippin’ tiny symbols on the charts and find the tiny linen threads (I love stitching on linen, so that’s not going to change), and the regular glasses perched on the reading glasses so I can see the television when it sounds interesting, I’m sure that I look like some demented person with my head bent, staring over the reading glasses and through the regular ones. I know what the next logical step is. I just don’t know if I’m ready to take it. I will someday, suck it up, put on my big girl panties and get …BIFOCALS. Sends chills down my back right now to think about it. It would make it easier on my friends when they have to decide whether they should ignore the two pairs of glasses or gently suggest professional help for the eccentric, crazy lady. Oh wait, my friends wouldn’t be gentle about suggesting anything… they’d be turning blue from the lack of oxygen they were getting between the guffaws.
SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH SPINSTER
2 hours ago